The Ripple Effect of Positive Energy

I know there’s not a lot to be happy about in the world today.  I won’t recant the harsh news, including the brutal weather!  Yet we always have the opportunity to think of the “small” things in our lives that make us happy and, in fact, are what keeps us going.

Photo credit: The Haunted Lullaby

Here is a transcription of my husband’s and my gratitude’s we spoke this morning before rising from the bed.  We have started doing this each morning and each night, and it is making a world of difference in our relationship.  That pours over into everyone we experience each day.  So, here goes:

Bob said:

• I am grateful to be in our new city (we moved 8 weeks ago) with “his wife” (moi).
• Kitty loves me more than I deserve.
• Our older daughter is happy in her new stage of her professional life (in spite of a 45-minute longer commute each way).
• Our younger daughter had a successful treatment on a mole that we feared was cancerous.

I said:

• Bob is finding his way to continue to help the world post-retirement. He is an award-winning professor emeritus and has so much more to offer the world to uplift spirits and energy.
• Lauren was honored to be selected to move to the new office for a world of opportunities.
• I have a serious chance via “NO LABELS” to ease the current problems in the U.S.
• And I am excited to start work with animals tomorrow – a dream of mine.
• The meds for our 16-year old cat seem to be finally working.

Now I know all of us can make such a list of small yet important “cheers”.  So let’s raise our chins up and proudly call these “wins”.  All have a ripple effect to change the course of our day and our life.  And raise the positive energy of the world – the intent of “Kitty’s Flip Chart.”

My New Definition of Retirement

Retirement

What’s it all about? What I know for sure, having recently entered it myself, is that it’s made up of a lot of “re’s”.

Some of them are:  reengineering, reimagining, redoing, remapping, re-trenching, reminding, remembering, releasing, reinforcing, relapsing, reflecting, reworking, reminding, and rejuvenating.

What it is NOT is “redoing.”  

We have lived our lives so far, and they are ours. It needs not to be redone. They are the foundation of who we are which we are building on.

We are challenged to create our best life in our “encore life”. We are invigorated to go out in style and grace. We are hopeful to get out alive. (Lol)

Those of us who approach retirement and our encore life with dread and resignation, miss the mark. While we should not confuse ourselves by playing like it’s a new version of our 30s, we still should remember that our mindset and vision needs to be positive ongoing so that whatever happens with us, to us and for us is as positive as possible.

We are in control of that life. Many of us are excited about what we’re in right now because it’s such an unchartered territory for us as well as the world.

As with any age, our thoughts become things. We create our reality by what we think. I choose to turn away from my past negativity and invite joy, light, laughter, and love. Whether we have one minute, one week or one decade left on this earth , let’s all live it with happiness. Yes I am talking to myself as I say this knowing that I am guilty just as much as everyone of looking at the dark side of aging and current events through the world. But I challenge us to raise our hands and hearts together to live the best life possible with laughter.

My favorite “re” is REJOICE! 

Quote of the Day 12-5-18

“Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt, kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust, and hostility to evaporate.” -Albert Schweitzer

 

Our love is worth more than this is

Have you ever bought a home and sold your home of 20+ years?  Was the current home one you thought would be your last home?  Whether or not you have experienced this, I just have one thing to say:  Welcome to my world.

I am working extremely hard to Let go, let God.

In addition to that motto, last night my husband, Bob, and I added this one:

Our love is worth more than this is.

Throughout my professional life I found myself looking for the pony in the pile of s—.  Good that I have been practicing this; it’s coming in handy these days.

My new skill is to let go of stuff — since we are downsizing to a place whose size is about half of what we’re currently living in.

Everyone – everyone – has to de-tangle the problems that come up in their swim lane.  None of us can, nor should we try to swim in someone else’s swim lane.  In fact, if you try to do that, you miss the chance of learning from the other swimmers –their wins and losses.

Remember Michael Phelps, who following the 2012 Olympics, seriously attempted to “throw in the towel”?  He famously said,

“I’m done. I’m finished. I’m retired. I’m done. No more.”

Fast forward 4 years.  And you know the rest of the story.  He is now considered throughout the world as “one of the greatest Olympians of all time.

So what does that have to do with my real story about selling our beloved home and finding something in another city?  EVERYTHING.

Every moment of every day should be your best.  Tamp down the emotions.  Love.  Love.  Love.

Happy Am I!!

The bridge over Kelly’s Creek at Camp Winnataska.

♪ ♫ ♬
Happy am I at Winnataska
Singing a song the whole day long
Come and join in our song
Bum bum, bum bum
At Winnataska!!
♪ ♫ ♬

By now, my KFC readers are noticing a wide variety of subjects from my life.  This week it’s about Camp Winnataska, a sleep-away Christian camp about an hour east of Birmingham.

When I was around 7 years old my mother, Madelyn Johnston Rowell, wanted me to go to sleep-away camp at Winnataska.  At that time, they held one to two-week camp sessions for boys only as well as the same for girls only.  Over time, the girl’s camps became much more popular!

However, my family couldn’t afford to send me to camp, so mother volunteered to be a camp director.  It turned out it was the most fun and rewarding purpose of her life, in spite of her long list of community involvement and achievements (including president of the Alabama Federation of Women’s Club, chair of the city’s Beautification Board, the first female board member of the area boy scout council, …)  But it was Winnataska and its leaders and campers that she loved the most.  In fact, at her funeral several people came up to me to express their fondness of Winnataska and their memories of mother’s glee while there.  She was girls’ camp director for 17 summers.

Being a bit shy in my younger days, I was a little nervous about having my mother as the camp director.  But it turned out just fine.  Both of us experienced such joy while at camp. I am confident that those summer experiences increased the positive vibrations of the universe.  It certainly increased mine!

♪ ♫ ♬
The camp that we love the best of all
Winnataska is its name
The spirit through
Each girl it knew
Adds to its wondrous fame
Kelly Creek we love
And the skies above
Fade to lovely evening glow

And the mountainside
And the blue blue skies
Winnataska – we love you so!
♪ ♫ ♬

There I am. In 1964. A Pueblo camper. I’m third from the left on the next to last row.

Winnataska is in my blood. Although I haven’t been there in decades, I can quickly pull up all types of scenes there – creating all types of fun creations in the craft hut, horseback riding, paddling a row boat down Kelly’s Creek, learning how to swim in Kelly’s Creek and then in the new pool, cooking over a homemade fire when we slept in a tent once, the wonderful tradition of participating in the Holy Grail event the last night of each camp session – when leaders played the roles of King Arthur and his court, as they portrayed a beautiful rendition – by candlelight – of the Holy Grail.  And then there were the Sunday evening mountain top vespers in front of the rugged cross.

I think every girl should have such an experience!  My heart is full – even now – when I breathe in those memories and send them out to the universe.  Mother always felt the same way, too!

Winnataska – we love you so!!!

Live Your Personal Mission with Gusto!

Do you have a personal mission statement?

In 2013 I was asked by my spiritual teacher to write my personal mission statement:

My mission is to contribute positive energy to the world in everything I do.  A key value in that mission is to treat everyone with respect and dignity as I enjoy my family, serve my clients and engage with my friends. 

Recently I again was asked by the same spiritual teacher to share that 5-year-old mission statement.  I am delighted to report that it remains true.

Should I have looked at it more often and known it continues to be “on point” even to this day? Perhaps.  Guilt is an emotion that we created; it’s a form of self-criticism.  The truth of the matter – it wouldn’t have helped in this case.  I have meditated and prayed every day since joining a spiritual group to live to this mission, perhaps without using those exact words.  In fact, I am so glad that I continue to strive to live that mission.

It all begins with me.  That’s what a mission statement is:  a formal summary of the aims and values of a company, organization, or individual.

My husband and I have been trying to sell our beloved home we’ve lived in and loved for 20 years.  Those of you who have been through this, know what I’m talking about. One of my husband’s colleagues said that selling their home was the worst emotional trial he has endured since years ago he divorced his first wife.

When you’re going through a stressful time with your partner, it’s so important to stay calm, yet in reality that’s very hard, you know.  In everyday life we allow ourselves to be “triggered” by events, words or actions by others.  Since we know we are responsible for our responses to everything, what we allow ourselves to be triggered by is in our control.  And how we react to those triggers is also in our control.

So, since I DO have control over my thoughts, words and deeds, I work hard to make those thoughts, words and deeds thoughtful, positive and value-adding.  I sometimes ask myself, what could I do to make this is a better situation for others?

In our current home-selling process, I sometimes (but not often enough!) ask my myself and my husband, what can I do more of, less of or differently to make this a better situation?  What can I do to change the “aggravating, negative” energy into positive energy? How do I make myself accept that letting go of the house is not letting go of my home – the memories, the love? How do we move forward on that realization?

It’s up to us to treat all others with respect and dignity as we work through problems and stressful times.  Remember, one of my bedrock beliefs is that we have more in common than not.  Having my personal mission statement is the foundation of how I choose to live. It makes where ever I am with my husband home. What about you? Do you have a personal mission statement?

Therefore, in the context of my mission statement, I move forward with all the positive gusto I can muster.  The dictionary defines “gusto” as “vitality marked by vigor and enthusiasm.”

I challenge you:  Do it with GUSTO!

“The quality of my life is directly related to the quality of my communication with myself and with others.” – Lee Papier, Beliefnet

Cherished Memories Create Cherished Friendships and Positive Energy

Many years ago, 40 girls – freshly graduated from high school – descended on Auburn University for sorority rush.    Each one was selected by a very special sorority and became pledges together.  Now they are all grown up.  Most have had successful careers, been and are still community leaders, married at least once, have children, grandchildren and nieces and nephews, lost loved ones, survived health issues, and have taken care of aging parents. They are basically the same girls they were many years ago, just stronger and more powerful than they were as girls so many years ago.

I am a lucky member of this group of 40.  We have stayed in touch over the years – even traveling together to places like New York City, Chicago, San Antonio and South Florida.  Last week we had a special reunion commemorating our sorority pledging decades ago.  We convened at the place where it all began – Auburn University in Auburn, Alabama – and thanks to a great planner amongst us, we visited many of the landmark locations throughout the campus.  Wow, what changes and beautiful improvements have been made.  And it’s not all about football, although it’s a dynamic element of the culture there!

We know we are very fortunate to have enjoyed the abundance – great friends, nice lifestyles, joyful experiences and much love from our families and friends.  Everyone in the group has carried on the fine values and traditions bestowed on them.  And they continue today to add value and richness to their families, communities and associations.

The love and joy that was so apparent when we met at the reunion was reminiscent of that special feeling those many years ago.  It sparkled.  It glowed.  And the positive vibrations of the world went up a notch!

Is there an “old” friend with whom you haven’t connected in a long time?  Time’s a wasting.  Call them.  Email them.  Write them an old-fashioned letter.  Make their day brighter and yours too.

It’s an insane world but in it there is one sanity, the loyalty of old friends.

A Caring Community

Do you live in a caring community? 

If so, you know how it feels when you get a smile on the street from a neighbor or a request from a friend down the street to help him/her.  How do you start the wheels turning to become a caring community?  What we did in our community is start a holiday parade (google “hollydayparade.com”) 18 years ago.  The original committee was about 15 people corralled by various individuals to come to the forming meeting to step up and help.  We started from scratch (meaning no money and 15 smiles) and now have the 19^th annual parade coming up this December.

A few years into the startup of the parade committee, someone suggested we form a new woman’s club.  It caught on like wildfire, led by the same dynamic and dedicated leader since the startup.  We meet monthly at members’ homes with homemade food brought in by attendees.  We also have special events – like the members-only holiday party (hilarious gift swap) – and the annual anniversary party.  We now have around 55 members who not only attend the fun and informative meetings each month but also give generously to local causes supported by the club.

Last night – in my home with 3 other hostesses – we gathered for another fun and memorable evening, “Cocktails at Tiffany’s” as a bit of a twist on the “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” movie starring the legendary and beautiful Audrey Hepburn.  Everyone was asked to dress in black with pearls. They posed for pictures standing next to a life-size cutout of Audrey Hepburn in a sleek black form with pearls around her neck.  Many wore stunning outfits and, quite frankly, out did Audrey!

Most people stood the entire 2 hours talking and laughing and sharing their lives.  Our business meeting included updates on the planning of our own “Lighting of the Lights” that brings out hundreds of families in early December when we throw the switch to light up the entrances to our neighborhood and Santa and Mrs. Claus visit to charm the children, to donate to one of our favorite local charities to assist families, announcements of one of our own running for reelection to Town Council, opportunities to continue our community’s Gratitude Project by signing a banner about what you’re grateful for.  (It’s been circulating around the community since January 1.)

This stuff is fun stuff. 

I strongly urge you to cherry pick some ideas from what we’ve been doing to create and maintain a “caring community”.  Of course, it helps to have a strong, honored president of your HOA or similar leader.  In our case that’s a retired Marine and all-round great guy.

Start with fun.  Start building your community by building friendships. We have more in common than not.  Remember that.  And move forward with a smile on your face and joy in your heart.  Yes, we periodically have serious issues we have to resolve; not all “fun and games.”  But it’s a lot easier to solve problems with people you respect and know have a good heart and dedication to the community.

Start small.  Build on that.  Rock on!!

Without a sense of caring, there can be no sense of community.

-Anthony J. D’Angelo

Out of the dark comes the light of the sun

Kitty’s Flip Chart is dedicated to increasing the positive vibrations of the world. I had a need for that myself this week.  Ten days ago heavy rains flooded our house; two days ago our car was broken into with money, credit cards, and cell phone stolen; and last week, in our unfamiliar surroundings since we moved out of our master bedroom, my husband fell and hurt his head causing a trip to the Emergency room and CT scan. We are living in other rooms as we prepare to get the rest of the house fixed and paid by insurance.

In the meantime, we focus on managing our reactions to all of this.  Just last night I had a bit of a breakdown over the continued chaos and uncertainty.  My girlfriends comfort me and remind me that being upset from time to time is understandable given what we are dealing with.

But what I know for sure – this experience could be a LOT worse.  Our children, grandchildren, brother, sister-in-law and our two cats are well and safe.   (And an added bonus, one of our daughters and her hubby just bought their first house!).  So, we have much to be thankful for.  I woke up with that on my mind – my gratitude for what we have, not what we don’t have.  This is a very simple concept, but when you boil it all down, Love and Gratitude make the world “go round” a lot smoother. This too shall pass.

I look back on one of the most difficult trials in my life – taking care of my mother in her declining health (Parkinson’s) and my daddy for 15 years.  In the darkest hours during that time, I sometimes asked God out loud, “How much more can I carry?”  But faith prevailed and the strength and peace that passeth all understanding sustained me.

This morning, we took a break to go out to breakfast.  On the way home, we sang together our strung-together set of uplifting tunes:

• “Joy to the world. All the boys and girls.  Joy to the rivers and the deep blue sea, joy to you and me.” – Sarah Brightman, for the musical “Hair’ 
• “It’s a beautiful morning, I think I’ll go outside for awhile, and just smile. And take in some clean fresh air.” – The Rascals
• “It’s a beautiful day, don’t let it get away.” – U2
• “Good morning starshine, the earth says hello, You twinkle above us, We twinkle below.” – Sarah Brightman, for the musical “Hair’
• “I can see clearly now the rain has gone. It’s gonna be a bright, bright sunshine-y day.” – Johnny Nash

Ahh.  We felt better, as we always do after singing loudly this self-constructed tune.  And we still feel better because singing a positive song often stays with you!

Gift yourself today!  We invite you to sing our song to keep “moving on up” (“The Jeffersons” theme song).

You and Me and Our Little Girls Inside

I rarely go to stores to shop.  It overwhelms me and gives me anxiety. So yesterday I shopped by creating the store at my house.  What a concept — select the store(s) and bring them home!  Wow, a fun-loving shopping trip at last.

I introduced 30 friends and acquaintances to four invited vendors.  They were selling long-lasting lipstick, essential oils, jewelry and “angel hair”.  What?  You don’t know what angel hair is?  It looks very much like very thin colored tinsel.  The hairstylist connects it near your scalp so that it can stay in your hair for a while. I purchased 10 such angel hairs in various colors. She recommended that I get pink, purple and silver. The resulting look?  Well, quite frankly, everyone agrees it is great.  It is almost silly but it’s very fun.  Most important, it makes me happy.

I moved on to the table hosted by friend, the jeweler, an American who has lived in Bali off and on for over 25 years. Many years ago, she went to Bali looking for the best jewelry maker she could find, and she did.  He is a native of West Jakarta and creates stunning, meticulous pieces from her designs. Today she designs and sells unique, one-of-a-kind jewelry to many stores and many individuals. Her work is very unique; I love it.

So there I proudly stood in my home – almost twirling around with glee – as some of my favorite neighborhood friends continued talking about and buying make up, wonderful essential oils and scents, fun angel hair, and beautiful jewelry.

What an indulgent time to forget all of our cares and be ourselves – the giggly little girls that are inside of all of us.